Naughty, By Samson the Cat

Sometimes, sometimes, when I'm naughty,

I use the carpet for my potty.

The couch is where I sharpen my claws,

I leave all my fur,

I break many laws.

The mantlepiece you treasured so?

Down to the floor I thought it should go.

And once then fallen, I thought it should quake,

And into a thousand pieces break.

I didn't use my litter box,

I hissed at you when you tried to talk.

I ripped your homework - tore it to shreds,

I jumped up onto Daddy's head.

I think I may have pulled up some hairs...

But you can see lots and lots up there!

The dog now has to have surgery;

It's not my fault - he barked at me!

I took the baby's breakfast, as well,

You may as well call me the cat from hell!

You must admit, though, that even through all that,

I'm your bestest, favorite cat!

About Me

Okay, first thing you should know, I'm a guy. I'm guessing you knew that (humans aren't all that dumb - they know when we want out and in, and when we're hungry), but in case you didn't, I'm glad you do now.
Also, I was rescued from an Animal Shelter, after being found on my own out in Western Washington sub-urb wilderness. I'd talk about my past...but I can't. Now I live in a warm, loving home (stocked with food, I might add), and I'm very happy here. There's a nice big field in the back, where I often go on my manly *puffs out chest* hunting trips! Usually it's there I catch my big ones.
I'm also around two years old, (who has time to keep track of these things?), and I love to play, and also sleep in my human's bed.
I'm an American Shorthair - white with large splotches of black/grey tabby. I have a light-pink nose, with one big marking of cranberry pink (my human says it's "adorable"), and my left ear has a pinkish splotch. My eyes are a shining emerald green - kind of like my blog - and my paw-pads are all-adored by most humans -- the coolest pads where some are pink, some are black, and some are both! I'll post a pic sometime!
I'm a sweetheart (remember that, ladies), who'll come up and snuggle you in bed, and lick your chin and nose when you're not looking. I'm very talkative - either when I'm being picked up, when I want in or out, when I want food, or just for friendly conversation.
Well, that's just about it. Except for the fact that I am in almost constant battle with the cat next door, who thinks just because he was here first, that he should be alpha male, I am the cutest, sweetest, coolest cat around. Check me out!