Naughty, By Samson the Cat

Sometimes, sometimes, when I'm naughty,

I use the carpet for my potty.

The couch is where I sharpen my claws,

I leave all my fur,

I break many laws.

The mantlepiece you treasured so?

Down to the floor I thought it should go.

And once then fallen, I thought it should quake,

And into a thousand pieces break.

I didn't use my litter box,

I hissed at you when you tried to talk.

I ripped your homework - tore it to shreds,

I jumped up onto Daddy's head.

I think I may have pulled up some hairs...

But you can see lots and lots up there!

The dog now has to have surgery;

It's not my fault - he barked at me!

I took the baby's breakfast, as well,

You may as well call me the cat from hell!

You must admit, though, that even through all that,

I'm your bestest, favorite cat!