My Problems

Here is a list of my current problems:

1. Harley. The cat next door. His full name is Harley Davidson, like, the motorcycle. He think's he's all that with his cool collar, and his "natural tattoos" as my human calls them. See, she thinks he's all adorable because he has this heart on his head because he's a grey tabby, so he has black markings, and he has a black heart "tattooed" on his head. He's really plump. He is. And he is not manly -- why does he think he's alpha male? He has this really little, tiny kitten meow. So degrading. I have a nice, low, male voice, and still he thinks he can beat me. But he gets lucky in our fights. Too lucky. I wonder if he got some sort of rabbit's foot or something...?
2. Vaccums. Every pet's problem. They suck at you and are so loud! I don't care if it makes the darn floor clean - it's gonna suck the fur right offa me, someday - I swear! So loud, I can't even hear myself think. Whenever it turns on it scares me half to death!
3. Teek. My cousin. We've been watching her for about a week now, and I'm fed up with her always following me around, wanting to play, and stealing my spot on the chair. Ugh.
Problems, problems problems. Well, at least Teek will be gone soon. Now I just have to figure out a way to make Harley disappear...